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Post by Amtram on Jun 30, 2014 12:09:04 GMT -5
I've been complaining about this everywhere, but when it diminishes the quality of everything in your life, it's hard to talk about anything else. I've been an insomniac from the day I was born. Probably before, but my mom was young and didn't know any different. I can't stop thinking, and when it's dark and quiet, my brain goes into overdrive. I have tried, quite literally, every medication available for sleep, including OTC and herbals. I've tried meditation and hypnosis. I've practiced all the sleep hygiene habits recommended by sleep experts. None of these things can overcome the inherent restlessness of my ADHD brain. Except Sandoz generic xanax. (Really. Not brand, not any other generic. Only this one.) After four years of actually being able to sleep, I'm back to square one, because my doctor decided that I've been on it for too long.
Next week will mark three months that I've been lumbering around like a zombie from getting no more than five hours of sleep a night. I'm kind of surprised I'm not hallucinating yet.
I'm thinking about attending a sleep awareness event in August, even knowing that it's going to be almost entirely booths with people selling stuff that won't be of any use to me. I'm that frustrated.
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Post by Amtram on Jul 9, 2014 14:16:22 GMT -5
Here's a question for you all. Someone I know is looking to write something about the specific sleep difficulties that come along with various mental conditions, because I had spoken of how normal sleep improvement strategies simply don't work for me because of my ADHD. It got me thinking about how my sleep impairments changed over time, often depending on how well my different medications were working. I noticed in retrospect that there was a subtle but distinct difference, and I'm curious to hear what other people experience.
When my depression is not being adequately treated (or when it was untreated) racing thoughts still kept me from sleep, but the type of thoughts were different. I ruminated, remembering failures, arguments I had lost (with all the potentially excellent ripostes I should have made, of course) and got stuck thinking of things that frightened or upset me.
I would also think about how frustrating it was to not be able to sleep, a self-fulfilling prophecy, but impossible to work my way out of, because my thoughts were so focused on how everything was awful in my life.
When my depression is under control, though, the type of thoughts change. There's the constant music (which doesn't go away, ever, even on stimulants) and thinking about what I did during the day, what I might do tomorrow, which leads to coming up with all kinds of projects to do that require a mental alertness that thinking about them instead of sleeping precludes. IOW, the constant cascade of thoughts is neutral or positive instead of negative.
The depression, along with some minor anxiety, is my only comorbid, so I'm interested to hear if this is common for other people, and maybe if there are differences if, for example, you have bipolar or ASD or schizophrenia or other comorbid conditions.
Please share your experience, whether or not you have insomnia!
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Post by tigger on Jul 9, 2014 14:53:41 GMT -5
I have had insomnia all my life.
Racing brain, constant "noise", inability to relax all contribute to that inability. The thoughts are a mixture of both positive and negative- and constant. I find it impossible to follow a train of thought to its conclusion.
I have discovered over time that I need to stop trying if I have spent more than 20 minutes "trying to sleep". Any longer and the thoughts become increasingly negative and my anxiety increases. This doesn't bode well for sleep.
There have been times when I have been able to regiment sleep. That said, it was easier when hubby was alive.
An oddity- I can tell myself when to wake up. I'm generally successful.
To my knowledge, I have no co-morbids. Depression and anxiety in my world are elements of ADHD.
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