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Post by tigger on Apr 19, 2014 17:14:15 GMT -5
Three years ago I lost my husband to cancer. At the time, I was very frustrated at not finding resources that understood my ADHD and could give me good information about caregiving. End result? I got beat up. Not good. I've started the process of trying to mitigate my disaster. Talking about caregiving and death from my perspective while also talking about some of the crap that "helpful" others will strew in your path. You can find the first two posts in this series here: adhdtigger.blogspot.com/2014/04/dont-fear-sleeper.htmladhdtigger.blogspot.com/2014/04/dirty-words.htmlWhether you are a caregiver of children or parents, you may find that resources available don't really speak to you. Talk to me about your challenges.
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Post by Amtram on Apr 19, 2014 19:36:48 GMT -5
I'm "in charge" of taking care of my parents. There are a lot of differences, not just with the relationship dynamics, but also the physical distance. They've had to help themselves quite a bit while I've been dealing with my own health issues, too.
The biggest problem I find is that I have a desperate need for down time, and when I'm caring for them over a long period, it messes me up not only emotionally but cognitively. I become so anxious that I'm almost not helpful at all. (And then they call and tell me what a hard time they're having doing this thing or that thing without me. . .)
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Post by tigger on Apr 19, 2014 20:41:24 GMT -5
I can relate.
Early in the game with my husband he fell on me. He was fine, I was not.
At the time I checked to see that everything was working and left the issue alone. After he died, I ended up having surgery to deal with crushed vertebra pressuring my spinal cord.
Learning to set limits on others is difficult on a good day. I wish I had good answers but the truth is that I don't. What I encourage it to know your limitations and to enforce them.
(((hugs)))
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