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Post by tigger on Feb 26, 2014 0:08:56 GMT -5
So I just learned that my father in law died Saturday and my mother in law is in hospital with total hip replacement. I learned this via email. Always good. Let's just ignore that they all have my home phone number. Can I just say that I need to spend some quality time screaming into a pillow, crying until my throat hurts, and trying to not feel how I FEEL while I try to do whatever I am allowed to do? Is this a safe place to say that this sucks and I want desperately at this moment to run like hell to an undiscovered country where no one can find me? ??
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Post by Amtram on Feb 26, 2014 11:05:26 GMT -5
Absolutely. I'd love to hear what the excuse was. It's not like you already moved to an undiscovered country (although that sounds kind of nice. . .)
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dotty
New Member
amiably eccentric
Posts: 40
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Post by dotty on Feb 27, 2014 12:07:14 GMT -5
I prefer to communicate via email rather than by phone.
Sympathies on the loss of your dad-in-law, and good thoughts on the healing of your mom-in-law.
Have a good scream and a good cry because the rug has been yanked out from under you yet again.
Here's a hand to help you get back up and a hug to help you move on. (((tigger)))
My granddaughter loves to see that I'm on this forum when she comes into my room because she loves your avatar!
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Post by tigger on Mar 3, 2014 5:15:22 GMT -5
In roughly eight hours I must attend my father in law's memorial service.
Sh*t
I did not attend my own husband's service because of family issues that are WAY too f'ed up to try to discuss. Suffice to say that I didn't play then... and don't want to play now. The only good news is that the ceremony is Catholic. I can choose to say a Rosary...or six. If I am in prayer, no one will mess with me. I hope.
''Were he alive, my husband would be going bonkers". I could deal with that. What I can't deal with is the massive failure pack that I was handed. I was only told via email and then with a sense that I had done something wrong. Welcome to my life.
I don't even know what to feel. I pray. I pray. I pray.
Most of us can relate to Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood. Inside that magical place, he encouraged people to be who they are... Inside that place. I feel a need to burrow. To dig a hole until I feel safe- knowing that there are friends and neighbors waiting to love me.
A lovely dream... until I have to wake up to reality. And it doesn't end. On Thursday I have to attend the burial. Haven't I had enough fun? Apparently not.
It is not unreasonable to ask to just die now. It really isn't.
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dotty
New Member
amiably eccentric
Posts: 40
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Post by dotty on Mar 3, 2014 10:47:46 GMT -5
Why are they having both a memorial service and a funeral? Aren't those generally the same sort of thing.
Or do you mean they're having the viewing today and the funeral on Thursday? How about only attending one of them?
(((hugs)))
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Post by Amtram on Mar 3, 2014 11:09:13 GMT -5
Not necessarily. They don't even have to happen on the same day. A lot of it depends on the religion.
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Post by tigger on Mar 3, 2014 21:23:35 GMT -5
Funeral... done. Inurnment on Thursday and at an unholy gawdaful hour... like 10a but an hour from home... and they want us there at 9:45.
I swear when this is done I am taking several days off to hibernate in deepest Siberia.
Oy!
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dotty
New Member
amiably eccentric
Posts: 40
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Post by dotty on Mar 5, 2014 12:58:16 GMT -5
Yes, hibernate ... sounds like A Plan!
I often need to hibernate after spending time with family.
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Post by tigger on Mar 6, 2014 2:33:47 GMT -5
So I need to be ready to deal with this in like four hours- assuming that you live in CST and are as neurotic as I am about timing. I have to be across town in snow and ice by 8 a.m. Knowing my personal brand of neurotic, I will be early. Welcome to my world.
I'm waiting until it is safe to find a corner to cry in. This sucks in ways I can't find enough four lettered words to express it in.
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Post by Amtram on Mar 6, 2014 8:56:41 GMT -5
Hang in there. You've gotten through worse. You'll get through this. (())
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dotty
New Member
amiably eccentric
Posts: 40
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Post by dotty on Mar 6, 2014 13:42:53 GMT -5
So I need to be ready to deal with this in like four hours- assuming that you live in CST and are as neurotic as I am about timing. I have to be across town in snow and ice by 8 a.m. Knowing my personal brand of neurotic, I will be early. Welcome to my world. I'm waiting until it is safe to find a corner to cry in. This sucks in ways I can't find enough four lettered words to express it in. I'm much the same about getting places early so I won't be late. I don't call it neurotic though, I call it anxiety. Nice to know someone else shares this world.
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Post by dizfriz on Mar 7, 2014 17:58:28 GMT -5
Most of us can relate to Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood. Inside that magical place, he encouraged people to be who they are... Inside that place. I feel a need to burrow. To dig a hole until I feel safe- knowing that there are friends and neighbors waiting to love me. Mr Rogers is my Hero. Hang in there Tigger. It will get better. Dizfriz
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Post by tigger on Mar 7, 2014 23:41:52 GMT -5
Proof it never ends...
After the burial ceremony on Thursday I learned that my mother in law has shattered her femur on the side of the hip replacement. While not common, this is a potential problem with a total hip replacement. She thought she had pulled a groin muscle. And no, she wasn't tap dancing. She went to the bathroom. Then she was in pain... that she thought was a pulled muscle. Sheesh.
Net result? She goes back for more surgery on Wednesday. Downside? Increased risk, longer recovery as they have to rebuild the bone supporting the hip, and my brother in law has to go home and back to work.
So who is available to be the caregiver? Me. Yes, I know I have the "option" of choosing not to. Anyone who has been in this position knows d@mn well that there really isn't an option.
Hubby owes me one... or several. If I'm out of reasonable touch for a bit, I'll be back.
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Post by Amtram on Mar 8, 2014 9:37:49 GMT -5
Oh, Geez Louise. Yeah, that's going to be a hunk of time. Has she got osteoporosis? It seems strange that she could injure herself that badly without doing anything. Maybe you should get her a laptop and download Hatoful Boyfriend, and that'll keep her busy for days. . .
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Post by tigger on Mar 9, 2014 0:16:16 GMT -5
She has both a lappie and an iPad. We need to get a routine established but can't do that until we know what we're up against. Next surgery is Wednesday and from there I have a couple of days before my brother in law needs to go home.
We need to figure out what she needs- which will be a PITA because she doesn't talk about her needs. That WILL change. I DON'T read minds.
I am buying her every volume I can find by any of the Catholic apologetics. I will prepare quiz questions. That ought to do it.
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